She's Pregnant, Now What?

Words you hoped never to hear are about to change your life. When you hear your girlfriend/wife is pregnant, changes are needed. The act of having sex will impact at the least 3 lives: your own, your girlfriend/wife, and that of the unborn baby. Your decision will define your future by the person you are now and the man you choose to be. Although you do not have complete control, the choices you make will have a lifelong impact; looking back you must be sure you have made the right choice.

Below are 5 choices for you to consider:

+- Raising the child together with your girlfriend/wife

The rewards of raising a child are numberous, but it is a hard job and a commitment for a lifetime. There are emotional and physical demands on your time, more than before; but the joy that comes from sharing a life with another person are incredible. Ultimately, the choice to do what is best for the child must be the primary concern for you to consider. The choices include raising the child together or allowing a family to adopt the baby.

+- Creating an adoption plan with your girlfriend/wife

Suggesting and exploring an adoption plan with your girlfriend/wife can be a blessing to another family. By offering leadership when you suggest this plan, you also offer hope to your baby and its mother. You can inform yourself by reading more about adoption on UnplannedGood's website. Reading about experiences from other families and choices that you have will help you both, as well as lead to other resources and recommendations from others who have been through the same experience.


+- Choosing abortion

It is advisable to speak with a trained Client Advocate in order to make an informed decision because the outcome is irreversible. There are many health and emotional risks involved for everyone. An abortion may seem like a logical and easy solution but ultimately, it may be the hardest decision because it will have long term repercussions.

+- Supporting the decision of the mother of the baby

Most people believe that a correct response is to give your complete support to the mother regardless of her decision. However, another option is to allow the two people who have created a new life to make the decision that will be a healthy one for everyone. Couples should be encouraged to talk through their concerns as part of a healthy process. Male and female Client Advocates are available to help with this step either individually or as a couple so that an informed decision can be reached mutually.


+- Leaving and not being part of the decision

Even if you choose to leave or opt out of being a part of the decision made, once you know the mother is pregnant, you can never escape the responsibility completely. It may seem like the easiest option, but even this decision will weigh heavily on your conscience for the rest of your life. You have chosen a way to escape, but it is at the expense of the pain and consequences you have placed on another. This decision will follow you for the rest of your life.


Zoe Pregnancy Center offers resources to help you. There are male Client Advocates, available by appointment only, who will listen and talk to you to provide information so that you can make an informed decision. Remember that whatever you decide to do, there is help available.

Offering support to your girlfriend/wife and remembering how hard this decision is for both of you is very important at this time. Now is the time to show her that you are there to help her and support any decision you reach together. There is time to speak with a Client Advocate about your options and to accept the help you need to reach your final decision.